It seems like the people at christwire.org are really concerned if your husband is gay and they have 15 clues to fill you in on whether he is gay or not. Let’s highlight what they said, and break it down for you.

1. Secretive late night use of cellphones and computers. According to Christwire, if he’s calling late, most likely he’s gay, yes he could be having an affair, but it’ll be with another guy.

 

2. Looks at other men in a flirtatious way. Okay this could mean he has a part on some Broadway show, or maybe part of some local theater group, unless he’s Kancho‘ed his fellow male friend maybe he is gay?

3. Feigning attention in church and prayer groups. Maybe he’s an Atheist, maybe the rest of the people there are really fucking boring. Maybe he’s wishing he was watching football instead of hanging around other boring married couples.

4. Overly fastidious about his appearance and the home. He just could be a Metro Sexual? Maybe he’s like dressing better to attract a better mate? Treadmill anyone? Maybe his mistress bought him all that?

5. Gym membership but no interest in sports. In case Christwire didn’t know 72% of all Gym memberships are used by men, and after 2 months, most of those gym memberships are not even used anymore. But, hey, if you want to believe he goes to the gym because he’s gay, well believe what you want. We think there’s a hot girl at the gym in her tight spandex that he’s most likely wanting to bang, but let’s stick with the, “He’s gay” idea.

6. Clothes that are too tight and too “trendy.” We guess they’re saying every teenager and guy at the mall is gay. If your guy buys clothes, that is modern or anytime in this decade, they say you’re gay. Hey we’re not saying it, they are.

7. Strange sexual demands I guess if he wants something other then Missionary, he’s gay. Christwire says and I quote, “If there is a sudden interest in sodomy, sadomasochism, lubricants, role-play, sex toys or other non-traditional intercourse methods, this is clearly an indication of deep emotional abnormalities.”

8. More interested in the men than the women in pornographic films. We guess if they are men-on-men films then he could be gay or bi-curious.

9. Travels frequently to big cities or Asia. This one makes us laugh. Them kooky Asian, with there Kancho. Christwire says if he likes the big city, then your husband’s gay.

10. Too many friendly young male friends. If he belongs in a band, a youth pastor, a school teacher, works with underprivileged youths, camp counselor, Scout Leader, I guess just being Catholic for all the boy-loving they get into, makes you gay.

11. Sassy, sarcastic and ironic around his friends. We’re not sure about Sassy, but the other two fit us to the “T.” If you couldn’t tell this blog is dripping with sarcasm, which if you could tell, we guess makes you gay.

 

12. Love of pop culture. If he knows who Kanye West is, then most likely your husband is gay. What I love is what Christwire uses as a reference to tell if your husband is gay, let’s quote them again, “Gossip websites, Glee and The Golden Girls are three well-documented icons of the gay movement that genuine heterosexual men avoid.” We guess they didn’t know that Glee with 12-million viewers and every young girl making their boyfriend get that fucking stupid ass mohawk, is a sign of gaydom.

 

13. Extroverted about his bare chest in public. Another funny one. If he doesn’t have man boobs, let the poor fucker take his shirt off.

 

14. Sudden heavy drinking. Maybe the wife is a little over weight. Alcohol could make him Randy for you. Maybe the fuckers an alcoholic.

15. Ladies, have you dated men in the past who turned out to be gay? We’re guessing they think you date the same type of guys.

Bottom line to all of this is, who gives a shit if your husband’s gay, move the fuck on and marry someone else if he is, or stay single. And this could all be avoided if you fucking talk to him  about it. Put down the cell phone, stop texting him, and talk, you retarded monkey.