When it comes to probably the most famous Catholic known to mankind, few know that Adolf Hitler wanted to be a painter more then anything. He was rejected twice at the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna, and was told he was a shitty painter.

Fidel Castro

Most people think that Fidel Castro wanted to be a baseball player, and if he was given a chance with the Major Leagues, he wouldn’t have become a dictator. That is wrong.

Actually Castro, played baseball in college, and went to Havana Law School. They played against other schools, and he actually was a pretty shitty pitcher, but Castro wasn’t in college to play ball but to study law and become a lawyer. He did practice law for 2 years, and then tried a coupe, which failed, and spent time in Mexico and the US for a while before taking over Cuba. If you ask us, he’s probably good enough to be on the Seattle Mariner’s pitching rotation.

Benito Mussolini, looks a lot like Antonio Banderas, wow, never saw that similarity before till now.

As for the dictator who resembles the Pussy from Shrek, he just wanted to write shitty novels, which he did get one published called, “The Cardinal’s Mistress” It was a horrible piece of garbage, about a priest and his lover. After that flop in the literary world, no one would ever publish any of his works again. Hey I bet he was really happy the day his book did get published. Mussolini did once say, “It’s better to live one day as a lion, then a hundred years as a sheep.“

Mao Zedong

Mao Zedong is considered the dictator who brought communism to China, but how did he do this? As an assistant librarian at Peking’s University Library, he used his study of poetry and philosophy to influence Li Dazhao, the library’s curator, and co-founder of the Communist Party of China. The lesson here folks, is the shitty poetry guys tend to write women, can lead to communism. Wonder what would have happened if he was more in to Sylvia Plath.

As a student Pol Pot was below average. Now how does that saying go…” If you can do, then teach.” Well since Pol Pot was fluent in French, he eventually taught at a private school both French and French literature to students. Being quite the asshole, he was eventually released, and the rest as they say is history. The ass-clown killed about 2 million Cambodians, but his lucky ass died in his sleep.

Kim Jong Il

Our favorite Korean dictator, Kim Jong Il, always wanted to make movies. He even wrote shitty books about it that you can still order from Amazon.com. Now when he or anyone else in his sphincter of a country couldn’t create a decent flick, he decided to kidnap a South Korean Director to create a Godzilla ripoff. He is still hoping to create a movie that will top Avatar at the box office, but so is every other Hollywood Producer.

Ming The Merciless, worked as the Human Resource manager, over at our sister site, Promethean Times. He was one not to take shit, and fired many people on a whim, even if you thought it was a joke and your fellow employee was in on the prank, before the prank was over, laying on your desk was a “Pink Slip” telling you to pack your shit, because the Promethean Times was not your employer anymore. Do not pass “GO” do not collect $200 dollars. His ass was eventually canned, because he went easy on the employees who suffered from baldness, and was harder on those with hair. Okay maybe some of that was made up, but hey that’s the rumor we heard.