Olympic Recap 2012 Edition


Now with a ton of news coverage about the Olympics, we here at Thinksquad will not cover, the Spice Girls at the closing ceremony.

“so tell me wachu want wachu willy willy want”

Nor will we cover Bolt’s speed,

zoom zoom zoom

nor will we talk about Henrik Rummel’s penis, you know the American Rower.

He said he was not hard. but we will get to penises in a minute.

Nor will we cover the fact that the only gold medal Canada won was in a sport that a lot of middle-class kids have in their back yards.

Yes folks, the only gold medal all of Canada won in 2012, was in the trampoline.

No what we want to cover is the story you might not have heard, the seedy underside of the Olympics. If you didn’t know where all the athletes stay, it’s called the Olympic Village, it doesn’t matter what country you belong to, everyone who competes in the Olympics stays at the Olympic Village.

Staying here equals a sure thing

So with that many able-bodies floating around, what goes on when you are not performing, you may ask? A whole lot of sex. “I’ve seen people having sex right out in the open. On the grass, between buildings, people are getting down and dirty,” says Hope Solo, goalkeeper for the United States’ women’s soccer team, who estimates that 70 to 75 percent of Olympians are hooking up. The Olympic Village is intimate, after all, comprising just 3,000 apartments to accommodate over 10,000 tightly packed athletes for three weeks straight. And this isn’t the first time an Olympic Village has hosted a gigantic orgy, say some athletes. American javelin thrower Breaux Greer, for instance, once boasted about having sex with three different women every day during the 2000 Games.  In 2012, Durex paid to be the official supplier, making 150,000 free condoms available to the London Games’ athletes. (About 70,000 have reportedly disappeared from dispensers.) As The Daily Beast points out, that’s enough for every athlete to have sex 15 times during his or her Olympic Village residency.

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