It’s The End Of The World As We Know It…

For those that thought the Mayans are right in predicting the end of the world being December 21, 2012, yes folks four short days before Christmas, well another odd fellow by the name of Harold Camping says their wrong. According to his biblical predictions we have only 10 days of shopping left till then end of the world. Camping predicts that all the Christians in America, will rise to heaven on May 21, 2011 and that the actual end for those who are left behind will be October 21, 2011. When asked about the Mayan date here was his reply, ” ‘That date has not one stitch of biblical authority,’ Camping says from the Oakland office where he runs Family Radio, an evangelical station that reaches listeners around the world. ‘It’s like a fairy tale.’  The real date for the end of times, he says, is in 2011.” Allison Warden, one of the founders of Raleigh, N.C.-based We Can Know, said Wednesday that an analysis of Scripture, particularly the genealogies, shows Jesus will come in May. “God actually provides a calendar that points to May 21, 2011, as the day for Christ to return,” she said.With billboards all across America telling people that it’s the end of the world as we know it, but Harold Camping seems to be fine. This was not his first time he attempted to predict the end of the world, last time he did it was in 1994, when he said that the Bible, showed September to be the end all Many of his followers wore their Sunday’s best for the Son of all father’s to return. He later came out and said his math was all wrong and his calculations were way off. So back to the abacus he went, ha ha, no that was a joke,  he’s not a man of  science, he started back to scripture, he said that he didn’t account for the of  Book of Jeremiah and pulled out a new date from his proverbial ass. May 21, 2011. Since we are a society that learns through the visual media, we turn to the star of the movie Left Behind, Kirk Cameron.Thinksquad: Besides being the douche Mike Seaver on Growing Pains, do you think Harold Camping is full of shit?

Kirk Cameron: No, I could never call out a fellow christian in his beliefs, my highest grossing movie of all time, Left Behind covers this very subject.

Thinksquad: So you are saying you believe May 21, 2011, is the end of the world?

Kirk Cameron: I will pray about it.

Thinksquad: That didn’t answer our question Mike Seaver.What happens during and after the Rapture?

Like a scrotum here it is in a nutshell: The worthy dead will first rise up to heaven, followed shortly thereafter by about 200 million faithful followers saved by God. Those left behind will endure several months of ghastly torment. And what remains of our fair Earth will swiftly careen toward its ultimate destruction — which will occur in October.

The Proof is in the Pudding.

So what brand of pudding does Harold eat to give him this very specific date? None other then the bible. Here are his claims in what he refers to as “infallible, absolute proofs” — for May 21 being the day.

  • It’s the anniversary of Noah’s Flood: A great deal of effort has been made by biblical literalists over the years to identify the exact chronology of the events dictated in the Old Testament. Some scholars, including Camping, adhere to the theory that the Biblical Flood took place on May 21 in the year 4,990 B.C. Then, in Genesis, God told Noah seven days before the Flood to warn people of the impending cataclysm. And Camping posits that this figure, seven days, holds greater significance than meets the eye. According to the biblical passage 2 Peter 3:8, “one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” Therefore, argues Camping, Rapture should occur 7,000 years after the Flood. And the 7,000th anniversary of the biblical deluge, by his math, falls on May 21, 2011.
  • It’s the anniversary of Creation … sort of: Another piece of evidence — explained by Family Radio affiliate eBibleFellowship — suggests that the world began in 11,013 B.C., and its 13,000th anniversary came and went in 1988. During that year, apparently on May 21, the end of the “church age” came to pass. Then, a 23-year time of “tribulation” began, during which Satan claimed dominion over all the world’s churches. (Camping also supports this notion. He claims that the number “23” — far from just being the crappy Jim Carrey film — also represents “destruction” in biblical symbology.) The end of this particular period of cosmological strife is said to fall on May 21, 2011.
  • Divine Numerology: This elaborate line of reasoning first argues that Jesus Christ was killed on April 1 (yes folks April Fools Day) in the year 33 A.D. Using that date, the crucifixion would have occurred exactly 1,978 years and 51 days — or 722,500 days — before May 21, 2011. It turns out that 722,500 is also the product of an equation — (5 x 10 x 17)^2 — that includes three different numbers of significance, according to Camping. Five means “atonement.” Ten indicates “completeness.”And 17 signifies “heaven.” Thus: Armageddon.

What happens if the world doesn’t end?

That’s a question proponents claim they won’t even ponder. To do so would be to doubt biblical truth and threaten their chances at Rapture, most of his followers have no plan B, most have quit their jobs, have no money saved for any date past May 21st, Some have dropped out of school and others have dropped out of medical school and other college degrees gearing up for Holyfest 2011, or as Harold Camping calls it the end of the world. Which folks will happen at 6pm, from the man with the plan. Hope you turned in your DVD’s from Redbox, God might look unkindly to those who steal.

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About Thinksquad

I want to rip off your logic and make passionate sense to you
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4 Responses to It’s The End Of The World As We Know It…

  1. jeff says:

    ISIAIh 41 BRING forth your IDOLS did they PREACH to you see they can’t speak they can’t DO ANYTHING all they do is cause confusion. spalms 115 and spalms 135 thier IDOLS are FALSE cant speak can’t hear cant smell and those that make them shall become like them. Jeremiah 10 they nail their IDOL down like a scarecrow it can’t move can’…t speak can’t move must be carried these are nothing but the WORK of CON men.john 10 jesus christ sais his sheep hear his voice and another voice thy will not follow and if another person tries to preach to them they WILL FLEE from him. jeremiah 5 the priests bear rule on their own authority what will you do when your judged my word is not inside them. Now here is the kicker john 5 son of man voice goes back in time mathew 16 jesus christ claims to be the son of man.‎1 cor2 mind of CHRIST preached internally and john 16 sais the spirit of truth comes in the future. Ezekiel 13 lying prophets of ISRAEL my word is not inside them saying god sais god sais god sais wrote hoping mankind would CONFIRM their WORDS. all of this is EASILY verifiable.

  2. Pingback: The Rapture And Your Pets « Thinksquad

  3. insanity is all around us and all these wise predictions including Nostrodamas only shows more insanity.Like EVERY author who writes books,just because 1 prediction is true or one statement(s) in no way makes all true;including the Bible’s contents..People make end of earth predictions ONLY as an insane attempt to relieve their own miseries,regardless of the nice looking”tie”they may be wearing that day.Then you got the insane”Hitlers”who do end the world in their own insane ways and take many along with them.Even if a world does end it never is the end because we as spirits simply renew life on another planet;and light years mean zero to a spirit.Distance means zero to a spirit.It instantly travels whatever distance is needed.Of course most of you are totally unaware of all this,so will simply say we live only once;showing how unaware you all are of reality.and as a teenager says to anything not understood:”that’s crazy”.You really think we have all our abilities from one life.Impossible.Enough wisdom:Like God so rightfully says”Do not waste your pearls on swine”.

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