The High and the Lohan


Not long ago Lindsay Lohan was on top of the world. She was in the movie Mean Girls and the sky was the limit.

Nothing's going to stop me now

But when your best friends are

Britney "Bat Shit Crazy" Spears

and

Paris "I have no actual talent" Hilton

And then add our little Mexican friend

JOSE CUERVO

and

large amounts of Blow

And then shit hits the fan, you go from the NEXT BIG THING to sitting in a court room with your lawyer.

Why won't anyone watch my movies?

A judge sentenced Lindsay Lohan on Tuesday to 90 days in jail and an inpatient rehab program after finding the actress had violated her probation in a 2007 drug case by failing to attend alcohol education classes.

It was unclear how much time Lohan will actually spend in jail.

Lohan could be returning to the suburban Lynwood jail where she spent 84 minutes in 2007 after pleading guilty to two misdemeanor counts of being under the influence of cocaine, and no contest to two counts of driving with a blood-alcohol level above 0.08 percent and one count of reckless driving. She had been sentenced to four days behind bars.

But let’s look at this from another angle, because we here at thinksquad pride ourselves in thinking outside the box.

Does it really matter that Lohan does time? It’s not like serving any amount of time in a cream-puff celebrity prison making macro-may jean shorts, and taking naps is Hard-Time, if you really want to give her Hard-Time, why not tell her that she can only make good movies, that is hard enough to do.

But follow us here…so she skipped 7 or so alcohol education classes, who does that help? Yes sports fans, just her. But thinksquad she was legally suppose to go. Ok, but if she doesn’t or even dies from an alcohol poisoning, who does that effect? Just her.

If Ben Roethlisberger doesn’t want to wear a helmet while riding his motorcycle who does it effect?

Dumbass

or maybe Magic Johnson would of had a different career if he wore a condom?

I can still play.

But what if she drives her car and kills someone thinksquad? But she didn’t. She didn’t pull a Holly Berry and drive over some people. And if that is the case and you worry about her behind the wheel, why not have her sell her cars, and use the money to help babies born from alcoholics, or drug abusers?

But thinksquad, we should be proactive and prevent this from happening. Really? Then why not get rid of Catholicism, to prevent Child Molestation?

or why not get rid of Judaism to prevent the horrors of what’s happening to the Palestinians in the Gaza Strip?

Or make being a Muslim illegal because they can’t take a fucking joke.

We have all done our fair share of stupid things in our lives.  Some of us more stupid then the rest, like we here at thinksquad can remember getting shit faced drunk at the bar, and taking this hot chick home, and waking up the next morning only to find out it was grandma, yeah we got to lay off the OJ and Absolute, but we all do dumb shit.

If you are driving your car, and look down for a second to change the radio station because you hate Justin Beiber, or look back a second to tell the kids in the back-seat who are fighting to behave themselves or look down to see who is calling you on your cell phone and all of a sudden.

Should we then enforce “no kids in cars” because they are a distraction, or no phones in cars or radios because they can hinder your ability as well? Now you see the difference is you killed someone, what Lohan did is a victimless crime.

Victimless crimes should not be crimes. If you can sell alcohol to an adult, you should also be able to sell them marijuana, cocaine, heroin or whatever the fuck else they want to pump into their bodies. The US government’s “War” on drugs (I do not know how you wage war against inanimate substances, but there you go) wastes over 20 BILLION dollars a YEAR “fighting” drug use. The individual states spend even more than that, combined. Then consider the cost of the trials and imprisonment of everyone caught up in the drug war juggernaut as well.

Just imagine for a moment what the United States could do by way of a national drug education and treatment program with that much money … and probably have plenty left over to do something radical like … oh, I don’t know … actually provide health care to the general population or something. Hell, we might even be able to swing free tuition at state colleges and universities as well!

Of course, people will say that drug addiction breeds crime … which it does. But please re-read the preceding paragraphs. Treatment programs are more economical than legal punishment. Help people end addiction, and you reduce the “need” for crime. Legalize the sale and possession of drugs, and you take the industry out of the hands of street gangs. You end up with liquor stores that also dispense drugs from behind the counter in packets like cigarettes, perhaps. And a fucking health care system that is capable of handling the side effects. Think about it, people.

“Oh, but I don’t want my tax money going to coddle icky drug addicts!” You fucking selfish moron! You’d rather spend ten fucking times as much to arrest and imprison them, just because it’s meaner?! What in the fuck is your problem?! You’ve obviously got a catastrophic mutation in your “common fucking sense and logic” gene, you judgmental, petty, malicious twat.

Sorry we got out of hand there.

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About Thinksquad

I want to rip off your logic and make passionate sense to you
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3 Responses to The High and the Lohan

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  3. Marie J. says:

    Love the blog, keep it up!

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